Wanted: Killjoy
by cdbazemore98
Summary: After receiving complaints of being a killjoy yet again, Albert has a nightmare where his friends are tired of him trying to stop their fun, and he suddenly finds himself running away from them, who are out to kill him.


**Hey, hey, hey, my fellow readers. It's time for another Fat Albert oneshot! This one was inspired by the dream sequence in the Arthur episode 'Bugged', specifically, the end of the dream, where Brain (as a bug) is chased by his friends for, well, bugging them.**

**In this story, it's a little different. In the show, Fat Albert's always the voice of reason, trying to keep his friends from doing stupid stuff. You'd probably think he was Mr. No Fun, even though he means well. What if after his friends point that out, he has a dream about them hunting him down for that? Things are bound to get crazy. Enjoy!**

**Warning: Oneshot contains some crazy OOC ness for the dudes. But, it's only in the dream sequence.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. They belong to Bill Cosby/Filmation.**

Wanted: Killjoy

It was another normal day in North Philadelphia. Well, it started off as another normal day. Fat Albert was hanging out with his friends. They were doing some daredevil stunts in the junkyard, after seeing stuff like that on TV.

Albert, naturally, was rather against the idea, only because it looked dangerous... and it was dangerous. But no matter how much he tried to get them to reconsider, they still insisted on doing it. They made a ramp out of junk, and rode skateboards and bicycles. After one too many close calls though, Albert had enough.

At one point, the boys stopped to take a break. Albert took the opportunity to dismantle the ramp they built. And by the time they came back...

"What the heck, Fat Albert? What did you do to our ramp?" Rudy asked in disbelief, "We haven't even finished out stunts!"

"I took it apart so that you dudes wouldn't kill youselves..." Was the large boy's reply, "That ramp was becoming way too dangerous, and most of you almost got hurt several times."

"But we had protection and everything." Harold defended.

Russell nodded, "Yeah, we had helmets and padding. We were gonna be fine!"

"I guess we'll never finish those cool stunts like on TV..." Bucky said sadly.

Albert frowned at them, "Trust me, I did you cats a favor. What if something went wrong?"

"NOTHING was gonna go wrong. We had everything under control!" Rudy argued, "You know something, Fat Albert. You almost never want us to have fun. We always wanna try something new, yet you step in and stop us because it's 'too dangerous' or 'doesn't feel right'."

"That's because most of the time, you dudes are getting into trouble, and I have to bail you out!" Albert shot back, "I'm only looking out for you, like a friend should."

Rudy glared at him, "And _friends _support each other, right? So why can't you _support _our daredevil stunts! Why you gotta pretty much stop us from doing ANYTHING?! You're such a killjoy!"

The other boys echoed his thoughts. Albert was about to reply back, but that one word Rudy said stuck out to him.

Killjoy..

He was... a killjoy...?

Truth be told, Albert never wanted to keep his friends from having fun... he just wanted them to be safe. But to him, they continued to do stupid stuff like this, that he couldn't just stand around and not step in...

But now... he wondered if maybe... he stepped in too much.

Looking up at his friends, he just said this, "Oh... I see... well, I better split for home... I'll... see you guys tomorrow."

With that, he walked out of the junkyard, sulking as he did so. Not once did he turn back to look at his friends, but he could imagine the annoyance they must have felt.

Later on that night, Albert continued to dwell on what went down today. He continued to wonder if maybe he was a bit too much for his friends. He recounted all the times he stopped them from doing something he didn't agree with. Most of the time, they _were _having fun and not doing anything dangerous or stupid...

"Maybe they're right... maybe I need to back off..." He said to himself as he lied in bed, "After all, sometimes you have to learn something on your own without somebody telling you. And we're all still young... and sometimes, you have to live a little. Hmm, I'll talk to the dudes tomorrow, see if we can work something out..."

With that, he drifted off to sleep...

_It started off like, what else, another normal day in North Philly. Albert found himself walking down the street towards the junkyard, ready to have another good time with his friends._

_As soon as he made it to the junkyard, he spotted his friends huddled together, "Hey, hey, hey. What's going on today?" He greeted happily.__The gang looked up and stared at the large boy, who started to notice... something off. The look on their faces... were unsettling. Albert couldn't make it out. They looked calm... but at the same time... mad... and even sinister._

_"Hello, Fat Albert..." Rudy greeted back, his tone soft... too soft.__"Um... is everything alright?" Albert asked._

_"Well... not really..." Bill shrugged._

_"But it will be... once we get rid of you!" Russell spat, his voice laced with venom._

_Albert was taken back, but before he could say anything, Rudy beat him to it, "We've been talking, and we've decided that we've had enough of you always trying to kill our enjoyment. All we're trying to do is have fun, but you always have to step in and ruin things for us! And we're not gonna take it anymore..._

_"W-Wait a minute, dudes. I-" Albert was trying to speak, but got interrupted, this time by Harold._

_You're nothing but a spoilsport, Fat Albert." He said, "Always trying to be a bigger person, but really, you're just a bug. Who won't stop bugging everybody with your morals!"_

_Donald nodded, "Y-Y-Yeah. You're a real fly. That's a bug."_

_"More like a PEST!" Russell glared, "An annoying pest..."_

_"Like a rat!" Bucky agreed._

_"Orb ab mouseb..." Mush added._

_Rudy then smirked evilly, "And you wanna know what we do to **pests**... we **squash **them. Splat..."_

_Albert started to back away, now nervous about this sudden change in attitude his friends have displayed. Has he really annoyed them so much, that they just... snapped? "Hey, hey, hey. Don't be that way-"_

_"And I am SICK of that stupid CATCHPHRASE!" Rudy groaned, "Well, hear this! Hey, hey, hey! Fat Albert's gonna DIE today! GET HIM!"_

_With that, the gang started to charge towards the large boy, but he was already running away. He ran as fast as he could to get away from his friends, but no matter how fast he ran, they seemed to catch up to him._

_Albert started to look for a place to hide, someone to help him, ANYTHING. But there was nobody in site. It was like the entire city was deserted. He turned a corner, before shooting down an alleyway. He looked behind to see that his friends were no longer behind him. He stopped to catch his breath. He must have lost them._

_"What just happened...?"_

_Knowing that he couldn't stay here any longer, for his friends would surely catch up to him, he began to run again. Albert decided that it would be best to go home. His parents would protect him._

_However, when he made it back to his house, no one was home, "Mom... Dad?" He called, walking into the kitchen. There, he found a note on the refrigerator, and his heart sank._

_'Dear Albert. We've won an adults only trip to the Bahamas. Don't worry, we've left plenty of food for you. See you next year. Love- Mom and Dad.'_

_Mom and Dad sure picked a bad time to go on a vacation. Albert tried not to let that bother him. He could take care of himself, he could protect himself too. So he retreated to his room, and hid there, locking the door. Peeking out the window, he didn't see anyone..._

_Oh, Fat Albert..." _

_A sinister but unmistakable voice spoke right outside his room. That was Rudy. Albert stayed silent, not moving, not making a sound._

_"We know you're in there... come out and play..." That was Bill's voice._

_"If you don't open the door, we're gonna have to break it down..." That was Russell._

_"And trust me, you don't wanna have us do that..." Harold said that._

_But Albert remained silent. He wonder if he should hide in the closet, but that probably wouldn't do any good. A minute passed, and the intruders on the other side chuckled, "Okay, killjoy. Have it your way!"_

_Suddenly, before Albert could say anything, the blade of an axe came through his door, slicing a nice big hole in it. He was shocked. Who and where did they get an axe?!_

_Through the hole, Rudy's face appeared, "Heeeerrree's RUDY!" He laughed maniacally._

_Another axe strike, this time on the doorknob, breaking it, before the door was forced open. Albert could now see that it was actually Harold holding the axe. Not only that, but the others boys were holding weapons of their choice too._

_Bill had a baseball bat, Russell was holding a kitchen knife, Donald had a net, Bucky held a stick, Mush had a mallet._

_And then there was Rudy... cocking a **shotgun**..._

_That scared Albert the most as he backed towards the window, "Please, dudes. I'm sorry if I messed things up for you. I just want you to be careful..."_

_"It's too late for apologies, Fat Albert." Rudy snarled, point the barrel of his gun right at Albert's head, "You're gonna pay the price today. And once you're dead, we can have all the fun we want, without you butting in!"_

_With that said, he fired a shot, but Albert ducked, and the bullet hit the window, shattering it. The large boy saw it as his chance of escape, as he quickly leaped through the broken frame and outside. He miraculously landed on his feet, but that didn't stop him from running away, "Hey, hey, hey! I'm getting away!"_

_"Enough with the CATCHPHRASE!" Rudy shouted from the window, "When we kill you, you won't uttering that anymore!"_

_Albert ignored him as he continued to run. He had to get away from here. He had to escape his psychotic friends. If he knew they would get **this **mad, he would've backed off more than he did._

_I have to get help..." He said to himself, "It ain't safe here right now...?"_

_As he ran, he saw someone up ahead whom looked familiar, "Miss Wucher I'm glad I found you! You gotta help me!"_

_Her back was turned, but the teacher spoke, "Of course, Albert. I'll help you..."_

_Albert was about to sigh in relief until 'Miss Wucher' turned around, "I can give you a lesson in DYING!"_

_What the teen was seeing... it was... he couldn't find the words to describe it. It was Miss Wucher with **Rudy's **face and voice. All he could do was run away, away from the laughter that Rudy let out._

_Soon, Albert noticed a taxi and hailed for it. It stopped, thankfully, and he got in, "Take me anywhere. Away from here." He said._

_"How about Death Row? That's the perfect place." The driver turned around to reveal that it was Harold._

_Albert gasped and bolted out of the car, before he rounded another corner. He started to catch his breath... before he could hear breathing that wasn't his own. He happened to look up to see the Cosby brothers handing from a cloth lines above him._

_"Heads up!" Bill called as he and Russell dropped down, weapons in hand._

_Immediately, Albert moved out of the way and resumed running. By now, he was completely lost on what to do. No matter where he went, his friends were their to kill him. However... he was determined not to give up so easily._

_Soon, he found himself by the waterfront of the city. Nobody seemed to be there, so many he was safe. Albert sat on top of a barrel, once again catching his breath and thinking about the fact that his friends wanted to kill him. In a way... he felt guilty. As if his meddling and trying to keep them safe made them this way. Maybe there was a way he could make it up to them._

_"Well, well, well... look who decided to take a rest..."_

_Albert looked up to see a gun pointed in his face, it's owner wearing a psychotic grin. Before he knew it, he was surround by all the weapons. Trying not the panic, Albert took a deep breath and spoke, "Listen, dudes. I'm sorry... I really am. I just want you to be careful when doing things, you know. Sometimes, the things you do can be dangerous, and I wanna make sure you don't do anything stupid."_

_Rudy scoffed, "Well. I got news for you, Albert. Sometimes, you gotta let a guy live a little. He's gotta experience some things to truly understand life."_

_"I know. And I get it. And I'll try to back off a little bit."_

_"It's too late for that, Mr. Killjoy! You had your chance, and you blew it! Now, you're gonna get yours, and we'll be free! Free of the joke that is Fat Albert!"_

_Russell giggled evilly, "Oh, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time now! Finally, we're gonna get rid of the thorn that's been in our side for years!"_

_Albert felt like he couldn't get out of this, so he just closed his eyes, listening to their pyschotic laughter, and awaiting the beating that would lead to his death. Soon... he felt it. The hits, the stabs... and evenutally... the gunshot..._

Albert woke up with a gasp. He sat up quickly, breathing heavily and looking around. He was in his room, safe and sound...

It had all been a dream.

A terrifying dream...

The large boy sighed, trying to rid himself of the nightmare. He couldn't believe it. He was glad it wasn't real, but the idea that his friends were so sick of him that they'd kill him... was rather sad...

That's when he knew he needed to talk to them when he got the chance...

The next morning...

Albert waited patiently in the junkyard. He had arrived a little earlier than the others, but they shouldn't be long, hopefully. He waited another few minutes, before they came by, "Hey, hey, hey, dudes. Good morning." He greeted, "Before you say anything. I wanna say..."

"Hold on. Before _you _say anything. We wanna say we're sorry for yesterday." Bill spoke up, "Look... we like you, Fat Albert. And we know you're just looking out for us... like friends do."

"And we know sometimes... we get outta hand." Harold added.

Russell then shoved Rudy to the front, earning him a glare, before the rich boy looked up at Albert, "I guess I owe you the biggest apology for calling you a killjoy... so I'm sorry..." He admitted.

Albert smiled a little, "Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. Listen, I thought about it, and I realize that I do get on you cases a lot. It's all out of care, but... maybe I need to let you dudes live a little. Have some fun without me stopping you... as long as you know what you're doing and be careful..."

The other boys looked at one another, before smiling back, "So, does that mean we can do our daredevil stunts again?" Donald asked.

The large boy shrugged, "Knock yourselves out... not really, though. Just figure of speech. Wear protection, and don't get yourselves killed."

That was quite already with the gang, as they, along with Albert, worked together to build the ramp again. As they did, he thought about what he was doing. He wondered if this decision was for the best, or would it backfire?

Oh well, no matter the case, it was a solved situation. And as always, there hasn't been a problem Fat Albert couldn't solve, and there probably never will be.

THE END

**Well, that was interesting. Albert wonders if he's a killjoy, has a dream of his friends trying to kill him, and is able to come up with a compromise. Whether or not it'll work out in the end, the gang knows that he has their best interests in mind, and he knows that he could try to be a little less clingy about these things. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot. I'll see you guys later. And don't forget to review, please. Thank you! **


End file.
